📕 The In-Between: What Really Matters at the End

This week, we’re focusing on The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life’s Final Moments by Hadley Vlahos, RN.

Vlahos takes us into the quiet rooms of hospice care, where time slows and people reflect on what truly matters. Through intimate stories of her patients, she reveals what the end of life teaches about how to live. This one might change how you see every ordinary moment. Let’s dive in.

This book invites reflection on mortality, compassion, and the power of presence. It may shift your focus from constant striving to appreciating what’s right in front of you. By witnessing others’ final moments through Vlahos’s eyes, readers often find themselves rethinking priorities, slowing down, and valuing connection over productivity.

Principle #1: Dying teaches the living.

Every patient Vlahos writes about becomes a teacher. Through their final reflections, we see what truly matters—relationships, forgiveness, and moments of kindness. The stories remind us that facing mortality strips away distraction and exposes truth: life’s value isn’t in what we collect or achieve, but in how deeply we connect.

Principle #2: Listening is healing.

In hospice care, words often matter less than presence. Many of Vlahos’s patients find peace not through treatment, but through being heard. Listening—without interruption or judgment—can soothe fear and offer dignity. It’s a quiet act that says, you still matter. This same kind of listening can transform how we show up for anyone in pain, not only those nearing the end of life.

Principle #3: Presence over perfection.

When someone is dying, there’s no script or right thing to say. What people want most isn’t perfection—it’s company. They want to feel known, not managed. Vlahos shows that small gestures—a hand held, a gentle word, silence shared—carry more meaning than polished comfort. The same applies to everyday life: being present for others, even awkwardly, is far better than staying distant in fear of doing it wrong.

1. “The moments between life and death are not empty—they’re full of meaning if you pay attention.”

2. “We think of dying as an ending, but often it’s where the truest stories begin.”

3. “Love doesn’t leave with the body. It lingers, softer but still there.”

1. Have the hard conversations. Talk to loved ones about what matters to them—now, not later. It builds deeper relationships and removes fear.

2. Practice presence daily. Choose one routine part of your day to give your full attention. Washing dishes, walking the dog, sitting in traffic—each can become a moment of peace.

3. Reframe mortality as motivation. Knowing life is finite can spark gratitude and urgency to live with purpose.

Spend ten quiet minutes this week reflecting on what you’d want people to remember about you. Write a short paragraph about it and place it somewhere visible. Let that guide your choices for the next few days.

Vlahos’s accounts often describe patients seeing deceased loved ones or experiencing peace before death—phenomena that spark debate between spiritual and scientific explanations. Some readers view these as glimpses of an afterlife, while others see them as neurological responses or comforting brain activity. The tension between faith and physiology becomes one of the most discussed parts of the book, encouraging readers to consider their own beliefs about what happens next.

❓ Thought-Provoking Question

If you knew you had only a few months left, what would become your top priority—and what would suddenly stop mattering?

We hope this week’s reflection reminds you that life’s most meaningful moments often hide in the quiet in-betweens—between milestones, plans, and ambitions. Sometimes, simply being present is the most powerful thing you can do.

As always, if you have any feedback or questions, just hit reply.

A Book a Week Team

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